Update - Important Installation Instructions

I am deliriously happy right now. I have just found the best instructions, possibly in the history of the world. Certainly in my lifetime.

Following my post earlier today on the insanity perfect sense of treating parents as though they must be told, in minute and insane detail, what is and is not safe for their own children, I was looking for a link when I came across this: Installation instructions for the completely redundant  mind bogglingly patronising new, improved, warning sticker that comes in the ridiculous essential Bumbo repair pack.

Let me run that by you again. Installation instructions for a sticker. I think this gives a fair picture of the level that's been sunk to. Squidge (4) put several stickers on his toy drawers today. They were Octonauts. Some were even stuck on straight. But they were all stuck on, which I think we can all agree means the inventor of stickers can sleep soundly in their bed tonight. But do you know what? Nowhere on the packet of stickers could be found any instructions. Nope. How did he possibly work out what to do???

Anyway, back to the Bumbo warning sticker. Number one on the list of installation instructions (yes, there's a list) is as follows:

Take the sticker and peel the paper backing off. Then carefully position the warning sticker on the back of the Bumbo Baby Seat over the existing warning.

Good grief, lucky they broke that down into two parts! Complicated stuff, this.

Number two:

Firmly press the sticker down evenly and do NOT attempt to remove the sticker after it is stuck to the surface of the seat.

Now, being the sort of person I am, to me this is just a blatant dare to get me to attempt to remove the sticker after it is stuck to the surface of the seat. You know, just to see what happens. Maybe it has a sensor that signals the Unsafe Baby Police to come and storm my living room. Exciting times! But wait... I can't start compulsively peeling the sticker off yet, because I haven't completed the installation of the sticker in full! I forgot number three:

Carefully read the warning sticker once it is adhered to the seat.

I just...c'mon...just...for the love of...oh I give up...